


Left Behind

by Theta8



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Aftercare, Alien Sex, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Counselor Dax, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Fingering, Kissing in the Rain, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Morning After, Pining, Porn What Porn, Porn With Plot, Post-Coital Cuddling, Post-Episode: s07e25 What You Leave Behind, Puzzles, Romance, Scheming, Spy thriller, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Wet Dream, Whump, angst sex, cardassian promise bracelets, drunk video chat, established relationship julian/garak, ezri is clueless, garak is tired and lonely, holonovels, i swear this was only supposed to be one chapter, i swore i wasn't gonna write relationships, i try to be nice to Ezri Dax, julian is clueless, let julian say fuck, oh no i wrote a gd romance, proposal, rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25007845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theta8/pseuds/Theta8
Summary: Garak is left on a smoldering Cardassia, never having told Julian the feelings buried so deep in his chest that it hurts. He takes action to remedy this situation and a relationship emerges.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. The Invitation

**Author's Note:**

> Give Andrew Robinson what he wants, let Garak fuck Julian

He had been a spy, a gardener, a tailor, a soldier, and now he would probably have to become a builder. Or an architect. Heavens forbid he should ever become a politician. The clerical work of rebuilding was just fine, though it was only a distraction. No- the manual labor was a distraction, clerical work was a rest from the physical labor.    
“And I thought I was coming home to Cardassia for a vacation,” he sighed, rubbing out his shoulders at the end of a long day, and finally switching off the screen of his computer terminal. It would chime if someone needed him, and they knew better than to need him after dark.    
He went to the replicator for a cup of red leaf tea, only to find himself sipping something much darker and more bitter. “Computer, what is this?” he demanded, almost spitting it out. 

_“Raktijino, hot, no sugar,”_ it barked back at him. He almost barked back. _Must have ordered it out of habit_ , he thought as he wearily placed the mug back in the replicator and strode over to the couch to lie and rest his back. “I really should reprogram that computer,” he thought to himself. It was so harsh compared to the voice of Federation computers back on the station. Damn, he’d gotten used to them. And now he was thinking about Deep Space Nine, and his back hurt, and he didn’t even have a cup of red leaf tea. His lips parted to ask someone to bring it to him, but he just sighed and shut his mouth again. He had learned better than to call for Meela anymore.   
Closing his eyes, Elim tried to rest and clear his mind. Steady, slow breaths. _In, hold, out, pause, in. Repeat._ Ezri Dax had, for all her failings, managed to teach him that much, and he supposed for that, it was worth erasing the bitterness he felt when he remembered her. _In, hold, out, pause, in. Repeat._ The low lights of the room made patterns though his eyelids, and he tried to follow them into sleep. He might regret sleeping on the couch later, but his feet hurt too much to wander to bed. _In, hold, out, pause, in. Repeat._ Images drifted into his mind’s eye- memories and faces. One face. One smile. One set of melancholy, dark brown, long lashed eyes, one set of warm, tender looking lips on a face the color of sunset and earth.   
He blinked and all his weariness was gone. So much for sleep when Julian Bashir haunted his liminal thoughts. _Damn_. He swallowed dryly. “Computer, some music.”   
“ _No music available.”_  
“What do you mean “no music available?” he barked back at the computer, glaring at his terminal as if he could scare the circuits into obedience.   
_“No music downloaded into this database.”_  
Garak murmured a vile curse word and shuffled over to the computer, jabbing at the controls. Indeed, there was nothing on file. Why would there be? He didn’t exactly bring any data rods with him when they came to start the Cardassian rebellion against the Dominion. Anything that might have existed at his old house was destroyed in the bombing. He had been speaking poetically when he told Julian of all the cultural treasures Cardassia had lost, but now it was all too real for him. 

Julian. He left the computer’s database for a subspace channel and looked up Deep Space Nine. True, this was no time for the dear doctor to leave and have lunch with him over the ashes of his planet, but perhaps the man could ease his purgatory a little bit. He began to dictate a message, rubbing his eyes so he didn’t look quite so tired on the image display.   
“Julian, I trust you’re well. It seems the computer in my little apartment is severely lacking in entertainment. I wonder if you would be so kind as to retrieve the data rods from my quarters on the station and send over some music.” He reached out to end the recording. “Oh, and perhaps some of your own collection as well. I believe that Vic Fontaine program has grown on me.” he added.   
Vic Fontaine? What had become of him? He shook his head and sent the transmission anyway. What was it humans called this? Nostalgia. Julian had once mentioned, in one of his enthusiastic discussions of medicine, the root of the word meant “pain” He thought then that maybe Cardassian’s and humans had a little something more in common.   
He stretched his arms and tried to loosen up his back. The hour was late and he might as well sleep in a bed if he was going to sleep at all. He changed his clothes and took one hypospray dosage of a painkiller and muscle relaxant before lying down for another dreamless night.   
  
Next morning, he noticed he had a transmission waiting for him. He left it for the evening; an exercise in self discipline. It was a tool one must keep sharply honed through practice. He found his mind wandering to thoughts of that transmission, which must be from Julian, all day long. It both eased the burden of clearing rubble and distracted him from the clerical duties. Perhaps he could go home early today and attend to personal matters. He could do some of this from his own computer anyway. 

With his jacket hung neatly by the door, he picked up a real cup of red leaf tea from his replicator and sat down to listen to Julian’s reply.   
“It’s good to hear from you Garak. I went through the data rods from your belongings and I’ve attached the only files that weren’t encrypted or protected by traps.” A smirk crossed his lips, and Garak was proud of him. “The rest should be coming in on a transport in a few days, along with a copy of Vic’s program. I trimmed it down, since you probably don’t have your own holosuite in that little apartment. I hope he’ll keep you company until I can visit for lunch.” There was a sad and wistful look in his eyes. “I hope you’re well Garak. A lot has changed on this station- I want to come see you soon. Best wishes.” he gave a little wave and the video went dark. 

An emotion touched his heart, down to his very bones, and he numbly tapped the file of music Julian had sent him. Vic Fontaine’s recorded voice greeted him with something saccharine and inane, and he began to sing. Garak leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, waiting for that troublesome feeling to pass, but it had a hold of him like a serpent and now he really did understand why humans called this feeling pain.  _ Julian, I miss you. _ His whole frame ached with the knowledge of it. 

That cloak of professionalism and secrecy, so vital to his life as a spy, had stopped him at his last chance to say something to Julian, as he lay his hand on the dear doctor’s shoulder, while his heart shouted inside him to say something. 

A drop on his shirt told him he was weeping- foolish; he must be overtired. He shut off the recording and went about his nighttime routine. No such sleepless night awaited him on the other side of sleep. His body and soul had remembered Julian, and they  _ craved _ him. He craved the sweet sound of that voice, the tender touch of his hands, the delicate flavor of his lips that Elim had dreamed of since their first meeting.  _ Foolish! _ His stomach tightened, half awake, and he felt desire rise though him, racing wild through his mind. It pooled hot in his belly- and deeper in his body, until he woke and realized the force of his desire, straining at its confines. His heart thudded painfully, and in helpless abandon, he took a hold of himself and tempted out the beastly sensations and emotions that were overtaking him.  _ Julian! _ His body strained with need and he chased it like a hungry animal until release finally came in breathless waves, and his mind settled into the light bliss, dwelling on Julian with no shame and no regrets. The part of Elim’s mind that might have resisted was tamed into sleep, and the rest of him finally followed.    
  
_ “Garak,” Julian called softly. “It’s so good to see you again.”  _

_ “Please, doctor, call me Elim.”  _ _  
_ _ “Elim,” his voice slid over the name like fingers over flesh. “Elim.” he breathed sensuously as he took hold of his hands, his eyes hooded with lust.  _ _  
_ _ He pulled the man close to him, their bodies burning against each other. “Elim,” Julian invited in a whisper, parting his lips. He drew the man into a crushing kiss, biting at the tender lips as Julian’s tongue met his lips eagerly.  _

_ “The time is 06:00.”  _ The computer repeated. Garak groaned and flopped over in bed. He was sticky under his sheets and peeled them off to jam his finger into the panel and shut off the alarm. He absolutely had to reprogram that thing to have a less grating voice. He rolled over to stare at the door. He had no desire to go about his day. 

“Be logical about this, Elim. It’s hardly been a month. You’ve changed your routine, that’s no reason to act like a petulant child. Dr. Bashir will come to have lunch, as he promised, when the planet is no longer a stinking wreck.” He didn’t believe any of it. He had been left behind, even if it was at his own request. Was this what Bashir called bargaining? Was he grieving something so small? But it wasn’t small. Julian had been his only friend. Now, after all they’d been through, he was tired of holding back his opinions and feelings. He wanted to tell Julian, no matter how he reacted. Perhaps it would finally break the connection he had tenuously been holding to. Or- he dragged himself out of bed before he could dwell on it. “This is exactly why you need to stay busy, Garak. No use thinking about what’s done and finished.” Somehow he believed that even less. 

_ Invite him to lunch _ . This felt more like Julian’s optimism, and he could use that right now. All the cold detachment and sardonic quips wouldn’t keep the depression at bay forever. 

He washed, dressed, and ate; settling himself before sitting at his computer terminal to type out a message. He could, of course, record another video, but he found himself sweating uncomfortably everytime he started that. 

He began with a long description of his activities and the recovery efforts on Cardassia, and scrapped it. Julian wouldn’t have time to read that, and frankly, even his compassionate nature would be bored by it. He tried something more ... personal, more emotional. He had two saccharine sentences written before he deleted that, and meta records in his computer system (old habits) Eventually he settled on a simple invitation. Hopefully Julian would appreciate the way he imitated classical Earth customs. 

_ Dear Doctor Julian Bashir.  _

_ It would be my greatest pleasure to host you for dinner at my home on Cardassia Prime Répondez s'il vous plaît with your earliest convenience.  _

_ Your friend,  _

He left the name blank and inserted his best signature, in Cardassian characters, by his own hand. “If that doesn’t give him a clue, he’s more naive than I ever suspected.”    



	2. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian and Ezri solve a puzzle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all plot I'M SORRY

Julian took a break between clinic work to eat lunch at his desk and sort through his subspace mail. A garbled message caught his eye, and he almost deleted it as junk before he caught on to the encryption. He peered, narrow eyed at the screen. Who would be sending him encrypted messages like this? He was decoding it in his mind, almost without thinking. It couldn’t be Section 31, they wouldn’t be so obvious. Romulans had no reason to contact him, and most of them hated him. They would also not be so sloppy, or use this type of encryption. It occurred to him this might be a puzzle, simply for a puzzle's sake. He began to decode it in earnest when someone began speaking to him.

“Julian?” 

“Just a moment please,” he responded automatically. Wait- that might be a patient. No, a patient would call him Doctor.” 

“What’s so interesting?” He saw a reflection in the screen and spun around to see Ezri’s friendly smile. 

“Oh, sorry Dax, did you need something?” he quickly closed the program. 

“Just dropping in to say hi.” her shoulders bobbed. “Were you working on a new brain teaser? It looked like you were really into it before I interrupted. Oh, sorry.” There was her bashful smile. 

“Oh, it’s nothing important. I think. Actually, maybe you could take a look at it. Any good with encryptions?” he asked, opening the file again. 

“No, but Tobin was good at math and Jadzia was good at programming.” She took a look at it, leaning over the terminal, very close to Julian, and tapped a few keys. “I think .... There you go!” She announced before seeing that, while the message was readable, it contained only a series of numbers in pairs of three. 

“Oh, it’s in code.” she pouted, disappointed. 

“Who would send me a message in code?” he frowned.   
“Someone on Cardassia, capital city it looks like,” Ezri pointed to the metadata at the bottom of the screen. “It showed up when you decrypted it. “Garak, maybe?” 

“He likes his privacy, but this level of encoding?” he worried his lip, trying to decide what it meant. 

“He might be in trouble. We haven't’ heard any reports from Cardassia though.” Ezri guessed, sharing his worry. Bashir knew there was a galaxy worth of trouble he could get himself into. He leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers and thinking. 

“He sent it to me, so it’s something he doesn’t trust the Captain with.” 

“Or maybe for privacy,” Ezri suggested, leaning against a wall to think. 

“Just last week he asked me to send him some music. Everything seemed fine.” His face worked as the gears in his head did. “Computer, cross reference this message with files belonging to Mr. Garak.” He looked at nothing in particular as he puzzled through it. 

_ “No known correlation between message text and files of Mr. Garak.”  _

“You’ve got to narrow it down.” Ezri prompted. “What would Garak send to you that he knows you’d understand?” 

“Something cryptic and obtuse, no doubt.” he complained. 

“But if he was in a hurry? If it was something for your eyes only.” She continued. That phrasing made him think, he repeated it in a mumble. 

“My eyes only,” it made him think of his spy programs which Garak had so often called childish. But it was in one of those programs they had really gotten to know each other. Narrowly saved the lives of the crew... “Computer, cross reference message with holonovels in my library.” 

_ “Number groupings match the style of a book cipher in Felix novel-”  _ he cut off the computer. 

“Cross reference as a book cipher with novels belonging to ...” he had to decide if it was something of his or Garak’s. He usually only read medical journals anyway, and Garak looked down on his holonovels. No text and page numbers anyway. The computer beeped for an answer. “Books belonging to Elim Garak.” 

_ “Working.” _

“Should I tell Colonel Kira?” Ezri chimed in. 

“Not yet- not till we have some evidence to show her.” he set aside his food, and Ezri helped clean up by placing it in the replicator slot. 

“I hope he’s okay.” She added, knowing how much the doctor cared for the old tailor. 

“Thanks Ezri,” he replied softly, giving her a hopeful smile. 

Several minutes later, while Julian was cleaning his sickbay, the computer chimed with an answer to something. He rushed over to see the results it had spit out. Most were half nonsense or mostly nonsense, but one, the computer had flagged as the most legible. 

_ Forgive me Doctor, for being cryptic. I always did like to share an intellectual puzzle with you, as well as a good meal, _ it opened, followed by the short invitation. A smile began to lift the corner of his mouth, casting away his suspicions of danger. There was always a possibility of another layer of deception, but he had signed it with his own name, so elegantly. Julian was ... touched, yes, he was touched by the gesture. 

“Well then, I guess it’s time for a visit to Cardassia.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be porn.  
> And a resolution for poor sweet Ezri. Don't worry she's bisexual and charming


	3. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian advances from lunch dates to dinner dates, although no actual dinner is eaten. But breakfast is. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW I promised you porn and here it is. I wrote this in a day I'm SORRY also idk how feelings ended up in it.

Garak chuckled at the reply Bashir sent him late that evening.

_ Give my regards to our young friend Ezri and remind her not to jump so hastily to conclusions. I eagerly await your visit.  _

And now he had to prepare for company. When was the last time he did that? He didn’t even remember how to cook, let alone plan a meal. The last time he had actually romanced anyone- he winced and tried not to think about it. He shifted his attention to choosing an outfit. It had to be something special, well tailored (obviously) and well matched to the importance of the occasion. He thought briefly of the tuxedos Julian was so enamored of. Was that too formal? He couldn’t remember. That knowledge used to be readily accessible. Now, he looked at his palms sweating as he fingered his way through his wardrobe. He settled on a red tunic with bronze sleeves and tabard, and a wide belt with a trim of black satin. It was elegant and slimming, and the high collar showed off his jawline. It would do very nicely. All that was left was for him to thumb through the replicator menu for a satisfying meal. 

“I suppose having the planet in disarray is a good excuse not to have to choose a restaurant,” he said to no one, and laughed softly at his own joke. He settled on a nice selection of vegetables, a little soup, and some Idanian spice pudding for desert.  _ And then what? _ His treacherous mind came up with all sorts of things he could do with Julian- things he had wanted to do since he saw the young doctor with bright eyes and a nervous, but winning smile. He couldn’t let himself be drawn into that fantasy right now. It would only ever be a fantasy and he was foolish for indulging it until his head spun. It was not good to have one’s head spinning in a tenuous situation such as he was in just outside his door. Cardassia was still unstable and damaged. But Julian was coming over for dinner. 

Although he was an accomplished liar, he didn’t deceive himself when it came to important matters. Thus, he was standing on the shuttle pad, waiting for the transport to come in, and wringing his hands like an old woman. Mostly Cardassians filtered out of the station to surface transport, holding bags and looking downtrodden and demoralized by the sight that greeted them. Garak looked for a smooth, golden brown face among his fellows as he marked off the number of arrivals until the last transport. But the dear doctor was punctual, and he stood out from the crowd in his Starfleet uniform.   
“Doctor Bashir,” he called, as the man looked around for where to go, and he watched his face light up. Julian held both his hands wide in an inviting greeting, but when Garak did not move to hug him, he clapped him on the shoulders and grinned wide anyway. “Oh it’s good to see you Garak. But what the devil possessed you to send me such a cryptic subspace message?” he demanded, with a laugh in his question. Garak only gave him that beguiling, knowing smile. “Well, you arrived, so obviously it wasn’t too difficult a puzzle for you, doctor. Come, I’m sure you have plenty to tell me about the station.”

“And you about Cardassia. It does look better than the last time I was here.” Julian added, but neither of them could quite smile at that. It had been a bittersweet day. Garak led the way down a mostly cleaned up street, though several bombed out buildings were blocked off. Julian threw an arm around his friend’s shoulder and asked all about the past months. 

“And how have things been on the station, doctor? You’ve barely mentioned it.” Garak prompted. They caught a rail line to his apartment, and Julian deflated a little in his seat. 

“Benjamin ... “ he didn’t know how to explain it, but eventually got around all the details. It still stung to think about. Garak gently placed a hand over his. “He’ll be back, so I guess I can’t dwell too mournfully on it. Though, it might have been easier to let go if I knew it was final.” 

“He was a good man. I have no doubt he’ll follow through on his word.” Garak concluded, and it seemed to make Julian feel better. 

Their rail line came to a gentle stop, and he put his hand on Julian’s back to escort him off the car. Unlike some other people, Julian never seemed to mind the little touches. He was never quite so friendly with anyone else in this way. They continued making small talk about the station; who had taken over the old tailor’s shop, what everyone else was up to, but Garak didn’t have many other attachments to that place besides the good doctor, and they found themselves running out of things to talk about for once. The silence hung heavy with the private emotions around the events they had already discussed. Garak was the one to break the silence. 

“How about dinner then, Julian? I’m afraid we’re left with replicator meals, but I did find a good recipe for Idanian spice pudding. 

Julian smiled, but there was no enthusiasm behind it. “Would you be terribly offended if I said I wasn’t hungry?” he asked apologetically. 

“Not at all. I’m not all that hungry myself. Perhaps a cup of tea? I actually have fresh red leaf,” he offered, hopping up to fetch it. 

“That sounds very nice, actually,” Julian agreed, and got comfortable in his chair. “It’s just that...” he began, and Garak popped his head out from the kitchenette. “I was thinking about the last time I was here, the whole time I was on the transport from Bajor.” That was an hours long trip. 

“Any conclusions, doctor?” He poured the tea and brought over two small cups. 

Julian worried his lip, thinking. “I can’t help feeling guilty about leaving you behind, Garak.” he said softly as he took the cup, brushing Garak’s fingers with his own. 

“Guilty?” He stopped himself dismissing it as nonsense. “You had your duties on Deep Space Nine after all.” 

“And you had your home to rebuild,” Julian finished the sentence. “But still, I often wondered if you were lonely here.” he held his tea in both hands and looked to Garak for an answer. Garak looked away, unusually timid. 

“Well, it was an adjustment, of course.” he sipped his tea. “But I’m managing just fine.” 

Julian knew his way around Garak’s tones, and anyone could tell he wasn’t entirely fine. His lips were parted to say more. Julian put his cup of tea aside.

“When you said goodbye,” he spoke softly, “I wondered if there wasn’t something else you wanted to say.” He remembered how Garak’s hand had lingered on his shoulder, as if he didn’t want to let go. “I didn’t want to make you say it just then. We both had work to do.”   
Garak was still staring, unblinking, at his tea, the leaves swirling in the currents of cooling liquid. 

“I wanted to come back and ask you, but I didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it.” Julian finished, picking up his tea again to warm his hands, taking a sip to let Garak know he was finished. His words hung silently in the air for many heart beats.   
“There were many things I wanted to say,” Garak spoke slowly and evenly, not meeting Julian’s gaze. “Before any of this happened. Even before we became friends, there are things I might have said to you if ....” If what? If the circumstances were right? If Julian had been less naive and skeptical?   
The doctor leaned forward in his chair, the fabric rustling against him. “Is that what you invited me here for, Garak?” his tone was casual, as if he had been asked to consult on a scientific experiment. Garak’s eyes shot up to meet Julian’s. His heart pounded loudly in his ears. Surely the clever doctor would notice how affected he was. 

“I-” he began, before biting off the words. “I always felt something besides friendship for you, Julian. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I ... felt very strongly about you.” He swallowed hard. Cardassians, because of their thick skin, did not visibly blush, but he was hot up to his brows and his ears. He flushed so hot it burned away his timidness and he reached for Julian’s hand, speaking passionately now. “I thought about you everyday aboard that station, thought about your hands, your voice, everything about you and I haven’t stopped thinking about you Julian. I couldn't possibly leave that feeling behind without acknowledging it.” Julian gazed into his eyes, inscrutable, and Garak placed a tender kiss on his hand. “I treasure our friendship, but I admit, I have always wanted more.” He lingered holding Julian’s hand before letting go and waiting for whatever came next. 

Julian intertwined their fingers, and his eyes softened into a sweet smile. “I’m flattered,” he stumbled around for words, “I’m more than flattered, Garak.” The flush was apparent in his cheeks, and he didn’t look away, but he didn’t seem to know how to proceed. Quietly, Garak stood and rounded the table, and Julian stood to face his piercing eyes. 

“Elim,” he whispered. “Call me Elim.” He took Julian’s cheek in his hand and pulled him in for a desperate kiss. 

Oh, how he had meant to be gentle and tender. As their lips crushed together, he cursed himself. But as he retreated, Julian’s hands were in his hair, pulling Elim back in for a deeper kiss, opening to him and returning his passion. The tailor’s strong arms wrapped around his waist, his hands pulling Julian close, and he clung to his shoulders like a life raft.   
They parted with a gasp, panting, and Julian could see the faint flush on his cheeks, the smile crossing his kiss swollen lips, and he wanted fiercely to experience more. He kissed those lips tenderly, stroking his jaw with his long fingers as Garak ran his fingers through the doctor’s hair. He leaned in to his ear, brushing it with his lips. “Elim, I’m here. I’m yours.” His head tilted towards the smooth voice, exposing his throat for Julian to kiss his way down each scale of his neck until he found a spot that made Elim’s breath hitch, and the hands running over Julian’s body stilled. He kissed it again and Elim sighed with delight, running his hand up Julian’s spine and into his hair. His own knees were going weak, and he felt Garak tremble in his arms. But the Cardassian did not like to show weakness, and took a few steps back to lean against the wall, leading Julian along by the waist. He followed, glad for the leverage to press a hand against his chest and feel his heart racing under his hand. Garak took his turn to kiss Julian’s long neck, stopping at the collar to probe under it with his tongue. Julian laughed.   
“Well I guess you’ve said what you needed to say, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to hear it, Elim.” He smiled and rested his hands on the crook of his neck, rubbing gently at the scales there with his thumbs. Elim fixed him with hungry eyes. Julian briefly felt like a Bolian lamb in the face of a Tarkelian razor beast. 

“Oh, I’m not finished with you, doctor.” Elim declared, and flipped Julian around so his back was now against the wall. He traced a finger down Julian’s throat and slowly began to unzip the uniform jacket, as he slid his fingers up the sleeve, across the tender skin of his arm and the warmth of him. Julian shivered, feeling the blood diverting from his limbs to his core, and rushing up to meet Elim’s lips as he sucked crimson marks into the skin of his collar bone. He was at the mercy of this man, and he wanted to get his share. His dexterous hands wrapped around Elim’s waist and undid the obi in a swift motion. He could have sworn he heard Garak purr. With the hem of his tunic exposed, Julian snaked a hand under the fabric and across his stomach, up to the surprisingly smooth scales of his chest. Elim sucked in against the cold air on his skin. Julian saw his opening and returned passionately to kissing the ridges of his neck.   
He let Garak work on removing his jacket, while lazily swiping his tongue across each scale until he found the one that made Elim gasp and sigh. The sensuousness of it diverted the rest of the blood in his core to his groin, pressed close against Elim’s body, and he moaned at the friction. Elim gave a low laugh and trailed his hands down his sides, pulling his hips a little closer.

Julian paused panting with his head buried in the crook of Elim’s neck and pulled away slightly. “Perhaps we should-” 

“Move to the bed?” Elim invited, pressing his leg further between Julian’s thighs, rubbing sensuously against him. 

“Yes god please,” he groaned, and raced after Elim as he tugged the good doctor towards the door. Each of them worked their way out of their shirts and tossed them into the corner before Julian pushed Elim down onto the mattress and resummed kissing and sucking the sensitive scales along his neck. The Cardassian’s strong fingers slid across the muscles of his lithe back and under his uniform trousers, which Julian hastily undid with dextrous fingers. Elim’s hand’s gripped Julian’s tight ass and he growled, rutting against Garak, who leaned up to capture his mouth in a biting kiss. He strained his body, trying to shrug off trousers and undergarments, only to find them ripped off with a deft hand, as he felt himself being pushed off Garak’s body and turned to land on his back once more. The sight above him was far different than any human, and the strangeness of Elim’s naked form thrilled him. He grinned and spread his legs invitingly. Elim licked a stripe down his chest and stomach, only to stop, frustratingly, before his groin.   
“Your turn, Julian,” he instructed, undoing only the first button of his own trousers. Julian wasted no time, sliding his long fingers across Elim’s soft stomach and under the waistband as he undid the last of the fastenings. As he reached down between the Cardassian’s thighs, he did not find what he may have expected in another man, and surprise crossed his face- his fingers hesitated and Garak’s eyes snapped open. His fingers were so temptingly close to where he wanted them.  
“What is it?” he breathed, searching the brown eyes before him.

Julian struggled to form words. “I can’t find .... you don’t .... am I doing this right?” He looked a little worried. Elim realized where he had gotten lost, and guided Julian’s hand to the correct position. “Remember your anatomy, dear doctor.” He breathed into his ear as his thick finger pressed Julian’s between the scaly lips of his entrance and past the protective folds of hot, wet skin, to the head of his throbbing cock. Understanding dawned on Julian’s face, and his fingers moved carefully around the sensitive flesh, eliciting a long moan from his partner. “Don’t stop,” he begged, though his limbs began to shake trying to hold himself up.   
“What do you want, Elim?” Julian asked, fixing him with his dark eyes. “Do you want this inside me?” he asked, giving his emerging cock a squeeze.

“Yes,” he demanded with a low growl, lowering his lips to suck a bruise on Julian’s chest. He kissed his way down his torso again, giving up the sweet contact of his warm hand, to lower his face between Julian’s thighs and wrapped his lust dark lips around the head of his cock, sucking all the way down to the root. Julian throbbed in response and twisted his hands in the sheets, where Elim’s hand found his and squeezed it tightly. His head bobbed between his legs, and Julian watched, mesmerized by the way the ridges and scales of his face softened with his eyes closed- the way they caught the light. He could almost divorce his mind from the sensations in his body, until Garak’s fingers did something marvelous to his balls and he threw his head back, whimpering for more. He got a light tug, and Garak’s finger trailed down his sensitive perineum, now wet from Garak’s mouth, and softly pressed at his rim.   
Julian yelped in surprise at the intense, electric feeling that shot up his whole body. Garak’s mouth slid off his cock and he rose to sit on his heels and he waited for Julian’s response. “Keep going.” he urged, biting his lip.   
“Yes, doctor.” Elim hummed and reached for a bottle on the nightstand. He coated his fingers in something, and Julian found it pleasantly warm when his fingers returned to press against his rim, gently finding their way inside his tingling body. He pulled his legs apart farther, and Garak hoisted one ankle over his shoulder. It made the angle of his fingers that much better, and Julian’s hips tilted to explore the sensation. His cock bobbed against his stomach.   
“Patience, Julian.” Elim ordered, pouring more of the warm lubricant on his finger, which had entered him down to the first knuckle. He pressed in further as Julian moaned for more, and he obliged, crooking his finger to make room for another. He was rewarded with a groan of pleasure, and began to work his fingers apart. He felt the subtle tension of muscles as Julian’s toes curled, and he rewarded the young doctor’s patience with a stroke of his cock. His own arousal was flagging, and he chided his impatience. Julian, perhaps sensing this, met his eyes through his dark lashes. “I’m ready,” he insisted. When Elim hesitated, Julian ground his hips down onto the fingers inside him and roughly pulled Elim’s face down to his own. “Hold me down and fuck me Elim. Fuck me till I scream,” he growled in his ear. The sensuous demand made his heart race and his arousal swell until his cock emerged from its dripping sheath, and he did not hesitate to press the hard, narrow tip against Julian’s entrance.   
Taking a deep breath, he bore down, pressing his hips onto Elim’s cock. He let out a hiss of pain as it widened at the base, stretching his muscles till they burned, but he didn’t protest, only wrapping his arms around him as the Cardassian pressed into him. Each ridge of his cock sent electricity through Julian’s body. “Don’t stop,” he breathed. 

Elim thrust his hips roughly, drawing a short, shallow gasp from Julian, who only responded with a little nod as his partner drew back and rocked into him, slower this time, letting each ridge of his cock tease Julian into shuddering desperation. His own need pounded in his veins, and he began to fuck Julian in earnest, as the naieve young doctor had requested.

He could only imagine before, how Julian might touch him, and it was everything he craved. Julian’s hands, with surprising strength, found his hips and dug into the supple flesh, pulling him closer. His thumbs ran over the softness around his hip bones and his stomach, sliding delicately up the roundness of his torso and the smoothness of his chest, as Julian gazed up at him, worshipfully. “Elim,” he moaned softly, exposing his oh so vulnerable neck. He bowed his neck, resting the crest of his forehead on Julian’s strong shoulder, as they rocked together, with gasps and groans. 

Elim was lost in passion, but Julian wanted to see his eyes, and found his burning face with his hands, pressing tender fingers along his jawline till Elim lifted his chin and met his eyes. Julian pulled him in for a kiss, tender, unlike their starving, brutal kisses that had left his lips swollen. As they kissed and both chased their climax, Elim understood for that brief moment what humans meant by words “making love”

Julian let out a series of high whimpers, which might have been words, just as Elim felt his body tighten and shudder, his cock releasing onto both their stomachs. He fell back, looking exhausted and blissful. Cardassian stamina meant that he was not yet finished, so he began to pull out of Julian’s oversensitive body when the man gasped, “Finish,” and with a weak hand, pressed on the small of his to keep him in place. He slid his arms under Julian’s, who embraced him as he snapped his hips forward, fast and rough, towards his climax, letting out a choked shout and collapsing on Julian’s chest. His cock retracted and he pulled his legs together for warmth. Julian wrapped his own limbs around his lover and managed to reach the blanket. Garak rubbed his cheek against Julian’s chest, pressing himself closer. He was .... snuggling. “I didn’t know Cardassians were cuddly.” he teased softly, but Garak seemed senseless, but for a smile the doctor could feel against his skin.   
Logic told him that he had just done something very impulsive. His body told him that there would be after effects very soon, and that he should take the chance to wash. He did neither, and listened, not with a professional ear, but with the attention of a lover, to Elim’s breathing, and let his own euphoria lull him to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be pillow talk and after care. And embarrassing moments.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because after care is important and DS9 should be funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I let everyone be sweet. And I embarrass Julian

Julian awoke in a strange bed, with strange fabric on his bare skin. The architecture was vaguely familiar, but why did he recognize it? He blinked his eyes against the light. His body felt sore and sticky with sweat and something else. As he tried to sit up, he felt a dull ache all across his lower body. This place was Cardassian, he could tell, but not military, like Deep Space Nine. It had the warmth of a dwelling. _Why didn’t he remember anything?”_

There was water running somewhere. Not a sonic shower, but actual water. He pulled himself to sit up, and when he was, he felt a burning pain in his ass. He winced and tried to stand or readjust, but flopped down on the bed again. It smelled of sex. His eyes widened as memories of the previous night came rushing back to him. Had he really done that? 

The water switched off and as the door whispered open, Julian lifted his head to see Elim Garak completely nude, drying off his hair. There were ridges of scales in places Julian hadn’t even seen last night. He had strong legs and firm muscles under the softness of his age. He wore a pleased smile, and Julian found himself smiling back as Elim joined him on the bed. “Lie on your stomach Julian. I can see you’re too sore to get up.” He had brought a warm washcloth and a vial of some subtle floral scented oil. He placed a sweet kiss on Julian’s shoulder before he began washing his back and his bottom. “Did you enjoy yourself last night? I’m afraid I succumbed to sleep rather quickly.”  
Julian glanced back over his shoulder. “I did. I could use some breakfast though,” he mused. Elim tapped him to turn over onto his back, and began to delicately wash his front and apply oil to the most tender parts of him. It was a good pain which he would gladly welcome again. He closed his eyes and thought back to the way Elim had kissed his hands and timidly confessed his love. It felt good to be loved by this man. 

Elim was wiping the rest of the oil off his hands, and Julian sat up, and took one of his strong yet delicate hands in his own, bringing it to his lips, lingering there to breath in the scent of oil and their mingled flesh. He pressed a kiss to those fingers as he slowly entwined his own. He kissed his way up the joints of his fingers, the tendons of his palm. _Flanges, carpals, metacarpal._ He showed his love to every part of Elim. 

Garak caressed Julian's cheek, and the man lifted his head from his hand to gaze into his eyes. "Will you be able to stay, Julian?" he wondered softly. 

Julian kissed his lips sweetly. "I _will_ stay, Elim, he promised, tracing a finger around his ear. "As long as I can, and I won't leave you behind, even if I have to return to my duties on the station. I'll come back for you." He wrapped his long arms around the crests of Elim's neck and drew close to him. 

  
  
  


Julian arrived back on the station a full week later, looking well rested and already missing his vacation. Ezri was waiting for him at Quarks, and rushed to the crowd of people coming off the Bajoran transport. “Julian! Welcome back.” She grinned ear to ear, in that adorable way that showed off her apple cheeks. He barely noticed. “What’s up, you look like a lost Qo’onian* warg whelp.” he blinked and looked down at her, tilting her head curiously. “Come on, I saved a table for us at Quarks, I want to hear how Cardassia is doing.” She tugged him by the wrist, and he smiled faintly, wondering if he had an answer to that. 

She ordered drinks for both of them and leaned forward over the table, eager to hear news of war-torn Cardassia and their old friend the Tailor and Spy.

“Julian?” Ezri was staring at him. What had she asked him again?

“Sorry, uh ...” he couldn’t remember. 

“You’re very distracted Julian. Did you get replaced with a clone or something?” she teased. When he didn’t laugh at her joke, she got concerned. “Oh my god Julian, did you get replaced with a clone? I mean you were gone for a long time- we all kinda thought you were on Risa-” 

“No.” He answered quickly. “No it’s just that things didn’t quite go as I planned.” 

She nodded for him to go on. 

“The planet is getting on, Garak’s got his own place to live now, and apparently he’s been in love with me for seven years” he slowed his rapid words as a smile crept across his face, “And .... I think ... I’m in love with him too.” 

Ezri blinked in stunned silence and tried to realize what clues she had missed. 

“Oh. Okay. Wow, that explains the week-long stay. I think.” she bit her lip. 

“I mean, I really did like you, Ezri, I really thought we might have had something if-” his brow furrowed, still confused. “If Elim hadn’t quite literally swept me off my feet and into his bed.” He seemed to just now realize how abrupt they had been and grimaced a little. They had certainly not stopped at one night of passion, and the blush on his cheeks showed it. Ezri covered her mouth and stopped a little giggle. 

“Garak? I didn’t know he had it in him. Well, I guess if you’re happy,” she began. He hadn’t been the most charming towards her, but anyone could see Julian was fixated on him. 

Julian now had his hands steepled together under his nose, elbows on the table, and muttered into his hands, “Oh god” he breathed. “What am I going to tell my parents? They still think he’s a government spy trying to take down the Federation.” 

Ezri went into counselor mode. She was actually getting better at this. “Well, you don’t have to tell them anything if you don’t want to, but I can talk you through some conversations on how to explain an interspecies relationship. I think I even have a pamphlet on same-gender relationships ... somewhere. It might be a couple decades old though.” She was still talking and Julian was nervously running his hand through his hair. “Too bad I don’t have any pamphlets about relationships with ex Obsidian Order agents.” She gave a small laugh, and got Julian to chuckle with that one.  
“A real shame no one wrote about that subject.” he laughed, staring at the table and shaking his head. “I don't think I’ll tell them anything for a while. We’re not close, even after resolving the whole genetic engineering problem.” That got him to laugh a little more. Ezri reached across the table and patted him on the elbow.

“Thanks Dax. I’m a little sorry that ours isn’t the relationship that I-” She cut him off.  
“Julian. If I’ve learned anything in nine lifetimes, it’s that you don’t question love when it comes along.” 

  
  


“What’s this I hear about you and Mr. Garak, Julian?” He asked the doctor, but he knew he wouldn’t be the one to answer. 

“Garak confessed his love to Julian and they spent a whole romantic week together.” Ezri announced, as if telling the ending to a good book. 

Quark covered his ears and tried to flush the idea from his mind. “Ah! No! Didn’t need to think about that particular image. I shouldn’t have asked about Garak’s personal life in the first place.” He cried as he raced back to the bar to have a drink and forget. Now the whole bar knew, which meant by the end of the day the whole station would know, and by the end of the week, all of Bajor would probably know, as well as half the quadrant in another week. Julian put his head down on the cool surface of the table and just laughed. 

Ezri winced. “Sorry Julian.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Of or originating from Qo'noS or Kronos. I wanted to try my hand at trek talk  
> Just wait there's more fluff and pining


	5. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The proposal. Mushy, romantic crap.

It was a rainy day on Cardassia. Crowds gathered together under overhangs to share warmth. The cloudy skies and the slow drizzle brought a sickly pallor to the rubble of the city. One man alone smiled in the gloom, like a miniature sun, as he waited for a ship to land. He pulled his coat collar close, shaking droplets of water off his umbrella. “A perfect day to spend inside,” he remarked with a pleased hum. 

The hiss of engines blew a fine mist of water into the air, catching the weak light of street lamps and splitting it into a faint spectrum of colors. He watched people filter onto the transport. Everyone who was going to come home had arrived, and now, most people were realizing there was no home there. They’d rather risk Maquis threats in other Cardassian territories, than be reminded of the devastation with which Cardassia had bought its freedom. That much had not changed, Cardsassia would always extend its reach into the galaxy. Garak didn’t spare much of a thought for them today. He was looking for one alien in particular- the messy shock of black hair, (sure to be curled by the humidity in the air) the warm brown of his skin and the singular angles of his cheeks. The longing rose up in his chest, warming him against the chilly day, despite his isolation. 

Julian hadn’t been expecting the rain, and shielded his eyes, but saw his lover immediately, standing under a streetlamp, dripping with rain. He rushed to the warm light of his smile. Elim didn’t betray his excitement to the people around him, but lifted his hands when Julian was in reach, and grasped the doctor’s hands tightly.

“Oh, I missed you Julian.” His grip was crushingly strong, and Julian relished it, intertwining their fingers briefly. “Come, let’s get out of this miserable weather. I have hot spice tea waiting for us.” He offered up his arm to escort Julian- that was the most amount of affection he was willing to show in public, but on-lookers would have no doubt that the Starfleet doctor was here at his pleasure, for him alone.

Julian’s determination had not faded during the long trip from Bajor, but Garak had ways of making him wait. He was humming with excitement and Garak knew it. The two held back their affections until they entered the little courtyard outside Garak’s apartment. As he stopped to put away the umbrella, Julian captured his wrist, pulling Elim close for a kiss, full of longing. He cupped his cheek, wet with rain, and pulled him closer. Elim ran his fingers through Julian’s wet hair, lingering as they parted, breathing in the warm scent of him. Still wrapped in his lover’s arms, Julian leaned back to get a good look at him. “Oh it’s been too long. I missed you so terribly, Elim.”

“You talk like we haven’t spoken in months,” he teased. 

“Shut up, I missed holding you.” He pressed a kiss against his cheek, tasting the cool rain there.

“What else did you miss?” Elim whispered. 

“This,” he breathed, lowering his head and tenderly kissing the crook of his neck. Elim hummed under him. He could do this forever, but Elim gently pressed a hand against his chest, pulling away from their embrace.

“Patience, Julian,” he reminded. “We can’t forget lunch. I have much more than replicated greens for you this time.” he tempted. Elim had the oddest way of slipping out of his grasp. Julian was left with is arms empty and his lips wanting. 

“Come, Julian. I’m sure you have plenty to tell me and even more to ask me.”  _ Indeed he did _ . He followed with swift steps, while his heart pounded in his ears. 

“Now, how about that spiced tea?” Garak called from the kitchen while Julian slipped out of his wet coat. He slipped a medium sized box out of the pocket, and opened the clamshell lid to see that it’s contents were safe. He smiled, and determination filled his eyes. He knew he wanted this with all his heart. Garak came back with a tray of tea, and stopped at the sight of Julian, looking so resolute. 

“Yes, Julian?” he slowly put the tray down, inviting him to speak. This looked important enough to cause the dear doctor to stumble over his words. When Julian spoke, however, his voice was clear and strong. 

“Ever since you first shared your feelings for me, I have wanted to be with you. I miss you so terribly when I’m away, and I feel I don’t get nearly enough time with you when I’m here. I feel there’s only one course of action left, and I hope very much that you’ll accept.” He sank to one knee, and Garak tilted his head, confused at the gesture, while Julian opened a box, revealing two finely worked metal bracelets. “What-”  _ an odd gift,  _ he was about to say, when he recognized that these were Cardassian promise bracelets. 

“Elim Garak, may I marry you?” Julian gazed up at him with those deep brown eyes. Garak was left momentarily breathless with surprise. Could it be a dream? Of course not, he never had dreams like that. His hands rarely trembled, but as he reached for the bracelet, his hands shook like a sapling in a hurricane. His heart was flooded with joy and anticipation. Julian got to his feet and Garak finally remembered to take a breath. 

“So?” Julian prompted, raising an eyebrow that most charming way. It lit a bonfire in his heart. Still holding the bracelet, he took Julian’s hand in his and slid it on to his wrist. Julian followed suit, intertwining their fingers, feeling the strength of their heartbeats together. 

“Oh yes, Julian. Yes.” Each of them cradled a hand around the other’s head, tenderly pressing together their foreheads. The intimacy of this moment burned in his heart, and he could feel it burning in Julian, too. 

“Elim,” he breathed against his lover’s lips. His fingers caressed his cheek, and felt tears there. He tasted their salt on Elim’s lips as he kissed him. He squeezed their hands even tighter together in response. 

“I love you, Julian,” Elim breathed as they parted, still pressed tightly together in a lover’s embrace. He trembled with the rush of emotions, clinging to Julian as if this wasn’t real.

“I love you, Elim, I love you so much,” he ran his long fingers through his hair, tracing around his ear, cupping his neck in his warm hands. “I love you and I’m going to marry you so I can be yours for the rest of my life.” He promised, tenderly kissing the ridge in the middle of his forehead. Elim hummed with satisfaction, and pulled Julian’s chin up for another kiss, tasting his sweet, soft lips. Perhaps, he had finally found peace, here in the arms of his lover. Yes, there would be dangers and terrors ahead, but they would face them together now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe bonus porn in another chapter. I just had to give them sweetness this time.

**Author's Note:**

> How did plot get there? I don't know. Sit tight for more. 
> 
> I promise there will be more porn.


End file.
